Sunday, September 5, 2010


We were threatened with hurricane Earl this past week. Luckily, it fizzled, providing little more than rain on Friday followed by two lovely, breezy days. I put away my storm supplies with relief and hoped we'd get lucky during future storms.

The domestic violence shelter where I volunteer has plenty of storms--most internal.
The initial depression and anxiety shown by most women when they arrive at the shelter eventually turns to anger.

Anger is something a victim of DV holds inside because showing anger in her own home usually leads to violent "storms" inflicted by the abuser, to considerable fear--both her own and her children's, and often ends in injury and pain.

Once the abuser has dispersed his cruelty and control in a major way, he may apologize, feel or appear to feel guilty, make amends with more normal behavior, even loosen the reins.

Unfortunately, like fall weather on the East coast, there is always another hurricane forming, another "eye" of the hurricane, followed by another storm. Inside each victim's head (victims including children and other family members), the peaceful "eye" of the hurricane is not to be trusted.

They've learned how misleading, full of portend, and fickle the "good behavior" is, since it is usually temporary and followed by worsening abuse and loss.

Can you imagine what it is like to live inside a hurricane?

Can you imagine what it teaches children unable to escape the storm?

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