Friday, December 10, 2010


It's the Season and my normally full plate, like everyone else's, gets heaped to overflowing with holiday tasks, obligations, parties, and extra travel.

But it's full of fun, too. It's visiting family, friends, and neighbors. It's holding the first grandchild. It's watching people open gifts at our family's "Yankee Auction." This "Auction" replaces normal gift-giving and results in some typical gifts and many "surprises."

The "surprise" gifts, though, are the most fun. They evoke groans, eye-rolling and laughter. They also force the giftee to try to react politely even if their gift is ugly, useless, or a re-run. Then, when it's their turn to "switch" they give the "surprise" gift away, if they can!

We all know that holidays cause tension and fatigue with all the extra "stuff" that must be sandwiched into daily life. There often are "surprises", but they don't have to be a problem. If someone doesn't like or need a gift, they can return it or re-gift it. If I burn a dish or leave one in the oven, the world will continue to turn.

Best of all, when I wake up Xmas morning, I look forward to breakfast with "the kids" and dinner with my family and friends. It's fun to share present-opening and a meal everyone has contributed to.

Families living with an abuser are not so fortunate. On what should be a special day, they may dread making a mistake. May be expected to keep everyone happy, well-behaved, and satisfied. May fear injury--emotional or physical--if they disagree with someone or fail to do everything exactly right.

I wish everyone could experience real love--demonstrated by caring, support, and honesty.

Real love should not hurt or confuse or torment.



Anonymous said...

Growing up in an abusive home, and being in 2 abusive marriages, holidays always ended on an awful note, not matter how good the day may have been.

My last 2 Christmas holidays have been peaceful and loving. Even though it has taken until my hair is turning grey, I treasure every day!

patwriter said...

I hope all your future Christmases are as good as the last two! Best, Pat