Friday, December 17, 2010


One thing I love about Xmas or any holiday, is that I'm more likely to see, write to, or talk with family, friends, and neighbors. This is great if you love and respect them, if you enjoy being with them. And vice versa.

So far this December, we've gone to a birthday party, hosted a choir party, and will be attending a Christmas party tomorrow night. Next week, we'll spend Xmas eve with our "kids," Xmas day with immediate family, 12-26 with extended family, and New Year's Eve with "work friends." We've already had lots of fun and are looking forward to every event coming up.

There may be the occasional difference, disagreement, extra stress or whatever during this season. But perfect or not, it is ideally a time of reunion, catching up, and fellowship.

It's not quite the same if you live in a shelter.

*You might be too depressed, injured, or anxious to shop for Xmas or worry about obtaining presents for your kids.

*Your income might be low or nil.

*You might have no car.

*You might dread leaving the kids with your abuser or his family during the holidays if s/he shares custody.

*You might be afraid you'll have to stay at the shelter on Xmas because you don't know anyone you can safely spend Xmas with.

*You might be afraid your abuser or one of his supporters will try to contact you. Or they might actually succeed, despite an existing Protection Order.

*You might want to attend religious services but fear you'll see someone who might reveal your general location.

And I could go on.

The influence of the abuser, unfortunately, does not stop when you leave him or her.
That is his legacy. And your opportunity.

Life can be better but it is never easy.
This holiday season, I wish you visitors and visits that are full of happiness and love.

And I wish I had a magic wand...

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