MESSAGES

As we left Bridge Club this week, a friend of mine who'd lost a much loved husband a few months ago, pointed at several large, beautiful mum plants still blooming in the garden in front of her house. "It's my husband sending me a message," she said.

Apparently, they'd left their fall mum plants in the ground every year for years hoping they'd re-bloom. They never did--until this fall.

I believe in inexplicable "coincidences" like this. I've experienced a couple of my own. These seem to be ethereal connections between us and those we have loved who have passed on. I've heard of other welcome "messages" from the loved ones of close relatives, friends, and peers. They seem to provide relief, happiness, and love because the relationship was based on love.

"Messages" from batterers are different in every way. Whether their abusers have died, are in jail, or still illegally stalk or contact their victims, these messages are not likely to result in positive emotions in those they've hurt.

Instead, the victim must re-live her traumatic experiences, along with the fear, anger, confusion, and uncertainty they caused. These messages are not sent with love or concern.

Too bad they can't be intercepted, stopped, returned to sender.