Wednesday, December 14, 2011


Our Christmas dinners have changed over the years. First it was usually ham, then it was lasagna so it could be done ahead. Now my grown kids want beef--their own organic beef bought as a 1/2 cow from a local farmer.

What's the big deal? Early on, it was my decision, based on how much time I had to cook for Christmas. Now it's a family decision. It's not dictated by a partner who needs to control every single thing to do with my house and family. There are no games--"I'll let you know." Or, "I'll give you a list--see if I forgot anything." "Or, "You give me a list and we'll see."

Most batterers can't let their victim make decisions and do normal things on her own. Sometimes that's good. Because God forbid she makes a mistake or displeases him. Then she's in more trouble than ever.

Who decides on Christmas dinner in your house, and why?

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