We had almost four inches of the white stuff today. Since it was above freezing, the snow was heavy to shovel but DH and I did our thing. I shoveled in back--the deck, deck stairs, bird "patio", and path for the kids next door when they visit on Saturday.

DH did the front stoop, stairs,and walk, the stairs to the side yard and a path for the oil man. Our driveway is usually plowed.

We didn't discuss this division of labor. It just happened over time. No one had to order me to do my part or "fix" any areas that weren't perfectly done. If he decided to snowblow the driveway, I did his shoveling.

Today when I finished in back, I went through the house and out the front door to see if he needed any help. Not to keep him in a good mood, earn Brownie points, or demonstrate my love. Just because I wanted to.

Division of labor should be that way. The guy likes to cook? Fine, maybe she likes to mow the lawn.
There are no set rules anymore about which partner must do which chores. And there shouldn't be.

So if you aren't allowed to be part of decisions that affect you, something's wrong.

If he won't cooperate to change this problem, something's wrong.

If you're both happy with things the way they are, something's right.
Lucky you.
'